How it may all end on Tuesday night

So, the rumble in Ohio is set.  Obama's patriotism is questioned.  His hope is questioned.  His physical existence has been questioned.  No, that last one hasn't happened yet ... but wait until Tuesday afternoon.  Clinton has vowed to take this to the brink, and perhaps beyond.  We have accusations that Mark Penn is conspiring with his colleague at Burston-Marsteller, Charlie Black of the McCain camp, since Clinton is going down by the day.

So, how will it end?  Will it end with the MSNBC debate?

1. Hillary Clinton takes a deep breath, gets an angry look on her face, turns to Barack Obama and ... Keith Olbermann interrupts her, saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah ... you drink his milkshake.  We know.  Next!"

2. Obama, asked a question about the flag pin, responds: "You want a pin?  Fine.  Here's a pin."  He then moons the audience, and his hind is studded with pins.

3. Clinton reveals she's actually Newt Gingrich.  Bill faints.

4. Obama reveals he can actually fly, and that a secret organization almost released a virus that would have stripped millions of people world wide of their superpowers.

5. Clinton takes several of Obama's flyers out from under her podium stand, and proceeds to eat them on live TV.

6. Barack Obama fixed your car.

7. Clinton starts sobbing again.  Keith Olbermann smacks her and is dragged away by the Secret Service.

8. Obama strangles Clarice the Clinton handpuppet spokes-Gibbon.

9. Clinton takes requests from the audience and won't surrender her time.

10. Obama reveals himself to be Mr. Terrific.  Keith Olbermann reveals he is actually Kal-El.  Clinton reveals she is Lex Luthor.

11. After renewing her charge that Obama is a plagiarist and an empty phony, Clinton then answers all debate questions by providing quotes from the collected works of Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson.

12. When asked if he is tough enough to fight the GOP, Obama declares "Vendetta on John McCain, or in the ancient tongue, the Art of Kan-Lee."

13. When asked to rebut, Clinton says she can beat John McCain, despite being hindered by "Morons like Mark Penn and the Goon Squad I have working for me."

14. Barack Obama turns to the audience and says, "Are you yokels really going to vote for the Democratic candidate in the fall, or is this just a colossal waste of time?"

15. Clinton reminds the audience that she is the underdog, pointing out that all anyone talked about at the Oscars was Hope.  "No one talked about how realism got them to the Oscars.  Sheesh.  No one likes me ..."  She then whips out a toy piano and bangs her head on it repeatedly.

16. Obama sighs, pats Clinton on the head, and tells the MSNBC anchors that they are just being cruel to Senator Clinton.  Clinton makes a Chewbacca noise.

17. Clinton challenges Obama to Rock-Em Sock-Em Robots.

18. Obama answers every question with "WHAT?"

19. Clinton, challenged to explain why she voted for a waste processing plant in the middle of Ohio, lets out a very large fart.  "How about that waste, huh?!"

20. Obama actually parts the Heavens, waves a magic wand, and turns Chris Matthews into a Canary.

21. Clinton faces Obama to give her closing statement: "Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design."  A flat screen TV descends from above the set to show Obama supporters canvassing in the streets. "Your friends out there in the Ohio towns are walking into a trap.  As is your National Campaign!  It was I who provided your volunteers with a call list.  The actual Democratic voters in Ohio are quite safe from your pitiful little band.  An entire legion of my best troops awaits them at the addresses I provided.  Oh ... I'm afraid my ground game will be quite operational when the polls open next week.  Come, boy.  See for yourself.  From here you will witness the final destruction of the Democratic-Independent alliance, and the end of your insignificant rebellion."  She then shoots lightning at Obama.

22. Obama falls unconscious underneath the lightning assault, but at the last second, Bill Clinton lurches onto the stage and throws Hillary into Chris Matthews.  They disappear in a blinding explosion, stunning Keith Olbermann.  Bill collapses, and reveals that he is actually Barack's real father.  Obama takes off Bill's mask, revealing James Earl Jones.